I’m super excited to write this post because imposter syndrome is something I deal with all of the time. If you’ve ever thought “Who am I to do X?” or “They really want me to do X?” then you’ve dealt with imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is the feeling that you haven’t earned your success, you got lucky, and you’re a fraud or “imposter” around people who actually know what they’re doing. If you’re the only “one” or feel like an outsider in your professional work scenario, imposter syndrome can often hit you hard. I know it has hit me. I’ve found myself questioning how I’ve gotten certain opportunities, or whether or not I have the skills to excel. I’ve actually pictured myself getting found out about and fired before. Seriously, self-doubt is a killer y’all.
Realizing that your mindset and judgments of yourself might be the only thing standing in your way is a tough realization. Limiting beliefs are negative thoughts that creep up on all of us. 70% of people deal with imposter syndrome. While this is a normal occurrence, too much time thinking negatively about yourself rewires your subconscious mind to believe you aren’t good enough.
Here are seven ways to stop feeling like a fraud and embrace your greatness instead.
1. Develop a new response to “failure” and mistake making
In the past two days, I’ve had two people tell me they don’t believe in failure. I don’t think that’s a coincidence. I think the universe is showing me growth is my only option. In all instances, I am learning and continuing to get better. If I keep pushing, I haven’t failed. I’ve only discovered what not to do moving forward. If I succeed, I’ve learned what to do next time. Beating yourself up for being human and blowing the big project will only hinder your productivity. Like professional athletes do, it’s vital to take the L (lesson not loss) and move on. I’m actively practicing reframing my thoughts to believe challenges are positive because they indicate growth.
2. Discover your personal voice
There’s only one you. It’s a cliche but it’s true. Only you can respond and contribute your thoughts and perspectives. No matter how uncool or not smart you feel, your opinions always matter. Some methods I’ve used to discover my voice is spending time reflecting on myself, going to therapy, and speaking up instead of overthinking. Have you ever thought about how many companies, motivational speakers, or influencers discuss the same exact topics, yet we receive them differently? Each one has their own community that follows them. We can hear the same message over and over, but hear it from the right person and have it finally connect. Your voice could be the breakthrough inspiration someone needs but you’re letting fear stop you from sharing.
3. Identify your unique gifts & talents
Remind yourself of all the hard work you’ve put in to get to the position you are in now. Congratulate yourself on how far you’ve come. Take a moment to recognize where you are today and the progress you’ve made so far. Remember that the only story you can control is your own. When you begin to focus on your strengths and areas for improvement, instead of dwelling on your weaknesses, life feels lighter and more abundant. We all have a special gift that only we can provide to the world
4. Question your negative thoughts
Limiting beliefs will affect your productivity if you are constantly questioning your capabilities. If you tell yourself, “I can’t write a blog post, I’ve never done it before” – you are already putting doubt into an action that you haven’t even attempted yet. Everyone was once a beginner. Even Apple and Coca-Cola were once startups. Do not compare your chapter 1 to someone’s chapter 35. Better yet, never envy anyone because you never actually know what’s happening in someone’s life behind closed doors. Be compassionate with yourself. When you feel down, listen to your favorite motivational speaker, vent to your most positive friend, write 10 things you’re grateful for. These are a couple of examples that remind me of how powerful and spectacular I am. Find activities that work for you and make them a ritual.
5. Separate feelings and facts
Have you ever felt like someone is judging you or dislikes you, but you have no facts to prove it? I’ve had so many moments where I swear someone didn’t like me or was judging me. However when someone asked me all my reasons why they were all speculation. Most of our problems are literally made up in our heads. I remember one specific session with my therapist where I was describing a situation where I felt less than. I didn’t feel heard or acknowledged at work. She asked me how I knew people weren’t listening to me, so I answered because I swore I had all the receipts. Only to realize after we dug deeper most of my reasons were assumptions without any facts.
6. Recognize when you feel like an imposter
If you’re the only or one of the few women, women of color, or people of color in your workplace, it’s only natural you sometimes feel like you don’t totally fit in. Society has often made us feel less than or second to white men. Refrain from thinking you’re “the diversity hire”, “the (insert your ethnicity) opinion” or “naturally less qualified.” Those are all myths! Instead of taking your self-doubt as a sign of your inadequateness, recognize that it might be a normal response to being an outsider. I commend myself every day for choosing to push past uncomfortable situations and choose to be my authentic self, despite it going against popular opinion. It is no easy task and you will be misunderstood more time than you like. However, you have to recognize when you feel like an imposter and chose confidence instead.
7. Develop a better mindset
Your script is the automatic mental voice that starts playing in situations that trigger your impostor feelings. When you start a new job or project instead of thinking, “Wait till they find out I have no idea what I’m doing,” try thinking, “Everyone who starts something new feels unsure in the beginning. I may not know all the answers but I’m smart enough to find them out.” I was the first person I knew to work at an advertising firm, I started a blog, coaching, and e-commerce business without ever doing it before. My boyfriend and I have hosted three networking events with no prior experience hosting a networking event. Everything can be figured out and executed with the correct mindset.
Shirt from Vanilla Sky. Jeans from American Eagle. Shoes from DSW. Pictured at Dojo House.
The only way to stop feeling like an impostor is to stop thinking like an impostor.