Your passion must burn brighter than your fears. If you know you enjoy helping others but you’re too fearful to step up to the plate, then how will you ever live out your passions? It’s just that simple and as a society we over complicate it. We listen to way to many damn opinions that really shouldn’t matter. I’ve been learning that people who truly know their worth value their opinion first and then seek counsel from other people. They don’t seek counsel for someone else to make decisions for them. Most of us aren’t where we want to be in life because of ourselves. It’s the hard truth that I’ve come to realize. I know you’re probably reading this and thinking of a million other reasons why you may not be where you imagined. I’m not saying there aren’t other viable reasons but I am saying…consider this.

Your mindset has a lot to do with how you make decisions and what you believe. Ultimately, what you think you can achieve you will. But then fear strikes in because while you want to live out your fairytale dream, you instantly think of everything that can go wrong. That’s normal. Our brains are wired that way and that’s just how they work, but what we also have the ability to do is identify our thoughts and reframe them because we are not our brains. Haven’t heard that one before right?! MIND BLOWN!

IMG_5453.jpgMy mind was definitely blown when I first read about the reason why we aren’t our brain and how we hold ourselves back because of our thoughts, doubts, and made up stories that we vividly construct in our minds so much that we start to believe they will, or already going to come true. Listen, worrying is literally us creating a “fiction” story in our head. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. Now, unless you’re Miss Cleo, you don’t have ANY reason to worry or be fearful.

Here’s four steps that I learned from reading “You Are Not Your Brain” by Jeffrey M. Schwartz M.D and Rebecca Gladding, M.D., that have changed my mindset completely and have made me a genuinely happier, more present in the moment person. I hope to encourage all my readers to begin practicing these steps in their everyday lives and to share these with friends and family. While practicing these four steps, its vital to take the time to write out common brain messages that you want to stop letting influence your life. After you have those down, follow the four steps to determine how you can minimize those thoughts and make positive actionable changes.

The FOUR Steps 

  1. Relabel
    • Relabeling is when you identify your deceptive thoughts, urges, impulses, desires, and sensations and acknowledge exactly what they are.
      • Personal Example: As a manager at my new job, sometimes I get nervous about being put in a leadership position and underperforming. I get anxious that I’ll let myself down, say something that people don’t understand, or disappoint my team. I feel anxious because I am allowing these deceptive thoughts to over power what I know I am capable of.
  2. Reframe
    • Reframing is when you consciously decide to change your perception of the importance of the deceptive thoughts you’re having.
      • Personal Example: I know I wouldn’t be in this position if I wasn’t meant to conquer it. These are deceptive thoughts that are derived from self-doubt. I am enough, I am worthy, and these thoughts are false. I shouldn’t entertain these thoughts.
  3. Refocus
    • Refocusing is when you redirect your attention toward another activity or mental process that is healthy and productive, even though you are still bothered by the deceptive thoughts and sensations you are enduring.
      • Personal Example: What’s the worst that can happen…I make a mistake? If I make a mistake, it will be a necessary learning experience that will help me grow. My team members will support me and I can always lean on my support system to guide me through. Instead of freaking out, I will meditate, talk to a friend, or watch a motivational video.
  4. Revalue
    • Revaluing is clearly seeing the thoughts, impulses and desires for what they are–simply sensations caused by deceptive brain messages that aren’t true and have no value. Use this opportunity to shift your thinking in a progressive mindful way
      • Personal Example: My true self is capable of successfully leading and executing everything I put my mind too. As long as I prepare, relax, and believe in my abilities, I’ll conquer every situation I am put in.

Remember in every moment, you are the only one who gets to choose your attitude, so choose wisely.