If you’ve ever uttered the words or thought to yourself:
I’ll be happy when I get my “life together.”
I’ll be happy when I get promoted or land my “dream job.”
I’ll be happy when I’m finally in a functioning relationship.
I’ll be happy when I make X amount of money.
This post is for you, the people who find themselves judging their happiness or worthiness on future accomplishments instead of appreciating where they are now. There is no reason you can’t be happy now without any of those things. Don’t get me wrong I’m sure having all your goals accomplished with make you happier but you don’t need those things you idolize to feel happy. You can control your happiness by improving your mindset. Too often we place harsh unattainable standards onto ourselves when worthiness doesn’t have any prerequisites.
Most of us get so caught up with what we think we need to be or become to feel like we are enough, that we forget to embrace who we are. For years, I battled with this awful inner battle without being conscious of it. Self-doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will. Feeling like we are enough is something we have all dealt with before, whether we were conscious of it or not. I suffer from perfectionism all the time. I get so caught up in my own head that I psyche myself out or convince myself that I’m not ready, or good enough to do something yet. I grew up with high standards, which translated into my head as being as perfect as can be or at least appearing that way.
When I finally broke down and analyzed my issues I realized that they always narrowed down to this one idea of “not feeling like I was enough.” Self doubt and this feeling of inadequacy was stifling my success and my idea of what I was truly capable of. People would tell me great things they knew I would some day accomplish or have accomplished already, but majority of the time I couldn’t truly envision it for myself.
As I grow up, I’ve gotten better at embracing my flaws and mistakes but it doesn’t mean that I don’t feel inadequate at times. Like there’s someone better than me, smarter than me, more qualified, so I might as well stop while I’m ahead. Those feelings are inevitable, but it’s how you overcome those thoughts that matters. It’s imperative to remember that growth and progression is an enhancement of who you already are because you were born enough. For me, the difficult truth was realizing that until I FULLY believed I was enough, until I was full of myself in the best way possible and completely confident in my abilities, no one else would believe that I was enough.
After watching this video on YouTube, entitled The Biggest Disease Affecting Humanity: “I’m Not Enough” by Marisa Peer, I had a light bulb go off. I followed the tactics from Marisa Peer and my life has never been the same since then. This simple idea of repeating “I Am Enough” to myself every day (sometimes multiple times a day) has increased my confidence and helped me become more resilient when self doubt or shame creeps into my life. Your mind does what it truly thinks you want it to do and what it truly believes is in your own best interest. Your brain responds to situations based on pictures you make in your head and the words you say to yourself. Thus, altering your mindset and the way you speak to yourself will HIGHLY improve the quality of your life.
So I leave you with 3 things to start doing everyday:
- Write “I Am Enough” somewhere in your home where you will make sure to see it everyday and read that everyday
- Create an “I Am Enough” alert on your phone or save the saying to your screensaver and make sure to read it daily
- Take a moment every morning when you wake up before you get out of your bed and close your eyes. Imagine the best version of yourself possible. Bask in that moment and tell yourself that that’s who you are now. Then let go of any part of you that doesn’t believe that is true.
XOXO,
Sade
P.S. Watch the video I referenced, entitled The Biggest Disease Affecting Humanity: “I’m Not Enough” by Marisa Peer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lw3NyUMLh7Y&list=FLSUz56tdgDaAY-k5J-KXMfA&t=16s&index=2
Also, check out the book I’m currently reading entitled I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Making the Journey from “What Will People Think?” to “I Am Enough” by Brené Brown: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000SEHDGM/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1