Before video content was the hottest thing on the block, I loved blogging. As someone who processes her thoughts through writing and literally journals every day to keep herself sane, I miss blogging. Since I’ve upgraded my site, I decided to also start writing on my blog again. Mostly because these past few months I haven’t had the energy to create my video podcast episodes. Just admitting that makes me feel so mediocre. And if you know me, I aspire to be nothing close to average in any capacity. Some may roll their eyes at that but people who get it, will get what I mean.
Right after Thanksgiving, I found out I was expecting baby #2! I honestly knew it just by how different my body was feeling, but I still waited a couple weeks to take a test. When I finally took one and it said “Pregnant” in what felt like just a couple of seconds, I was shocked. I don’t know if anyone who’s seen a positive test doesn’t feel that way, even if it’s what you want and have been hoping for. It’s still just a wild moment of oh my goodness, there’s a human growing in my body. After the initial shock wore off, I started doing my happy dance and felt excited to be growing our family, as well as prepared to grow baby #2, thinking it should be pretty smooth like my first pregnancy.
Boy, was I WRONG. Around week 7, the nausea and pure exhaustion hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt like I had nothing to give to my toddler, let alone take care of myself or my household and oh yeah run my business. My capacity which already took a dip when I became a mother, took a dip even deeper as a pregnant mom with a toddler. I was happy to get even one productive thing done a day. I cried much more than I’d like to admit.
Let’s be real, I still cry about something more often than I’d like to admit. I blame the pregnancy hormones. But despite all the challenges, I’m very proud of the 3rd annual retreat my husband and I hosted. As well as the improvements we’ve made in his day trading coaching business. I’m also learning to be proud of the small things that keep me and my family afloat during this season.
I feel like I’m in a pruning season like God truly wants to see what I’m made of. These past few months have felt like a lot of things I’ve wanted have repeatedly not happened while exactly what I didn’t want did. That’s been extremely hard to accept and process. Because it feels like why even have any hopes but that’s exactly what faith is. Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
I’m grateful for the few opportunities to speak that I’ve said yes to on the days I felt pretty good. I’m grateful for the clients I still get to serve and help reclaim their time and achieve their goals. They don’t even understand how much helping them is healing the parts of me that aren’t able to achieve in the ways I aspire to these days. I’m grateful for my son and husband who give me a reason to smile every day. I’m grateful to be growing our family, even if what I wanted for 2026 was completely different than what I’m living.
Transparently, that’s been the HARDEST part of this whole year so far. The grief… The grief of my loved ones who I miss daily. Over the past few years, my uncle, aunt, father, grandmother, grandfather, and brother have all passed. The grief of the goals I had for my wellness after birthing my first child in 2024 then breastfeeding for a year, and especially my business, which was having massive growth and has since slowed down in this new season of womanhood. I had a full vision for what this year was supposed to look like. Content, clients, revenue, all of it mapped out and ready to execute before mat leave. And my body just said no. I often felt lonely because does anyone I know really relate to what I’m going through.
On top of that, finding out I’m having another boy when I had genuinely envisioned a daughter hit different than I expected. I felt like my intuition had failed me and I started questioning myself and my gut feelings on everything. I know it’s not that deep but for some reason it felt that deep for me. And I’ve had to sit with the fact that I’ve needed more support than I’m used to asking for. As someone who tends to just figure it out, admitting that has been challenging. Having to accept this part of womanhood that feels limiting in certain aspects but abundant in others. I say womanhood and not motherhood because I don’t think motherhood encompasses all that I’m shedding and becoming as a woman in general.
These past few months have been tough, physically, mentally, and emotionally. However, spiritually I feel strong. I’ve been studying the Proverbs 31 woman a lot and feeling very connected to what she possesses. The irony is my therapist has been suggesting I become stronger spiritually and of course when I’m forced to, it’s because physically, mentally, and emotionally I’m going through it!! LOL
I don’t really have a conclusion to this post. I’m just sharing my thoughts on my life right now. I have faith things will feel and get better. Honestly, they have already as I’m finding my rhythm again and enjoying slowing down and soaking up all the moments with my son before he becomes a big brother. I have excitement about meeting my baby soon and getting to raise another amazing young man.
Oh and if you’re reading this, you’re truly in the know for real. No fancy announcement, no big reveal. Just me and my creative outlet. Maternity pictures will be coming to your newsfeed in the coming months though, so stay tuned!
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