We all have things we’re worried about. The doubts, the what-if’s, the overthinking anxious spiral arise in all of our minds daily. There’s so many common things we all worry about like the well-being of our loved ones, being misunderstood, regret, what you’re going to eat for dinner.
This may sound like an odd thing to do but I want you to write a list of everything you’re worried about. Not what you’re grateful for or self-affirmations—what you’re worried about. Yes, you read that right. I want you to identify what keeps you up at night. Write it all down. Set aside some time because it may take you awhile. Similar to a grocery or to-do list, a worry list can do wonders for your mind!
I was feeling more anxious than usual this past week, so I decided to make a worry list. Writing is therapeutic for me. I literally feel like I’m doing a brain dump when I write. Also, my hand writing is pretty bad, so I never worry about whether or not someone will be able to even decipher what I write. Not that you should let your hand writing stop you from writing, it’s just a plus for me.
Set aside some time and write everything you’re unsure, anxious or worried about. Nothings off limits. This is your personal list. This can include financial woes, relationship issues, being quarantined for months, safety, your health, not waking up, work, repeating unhealthy family patterns, criticism, not feeling like you’re enough. That’s some of the things on my list, write down yours.
Once your list is written, go back and circle what you can control on your list. When I went back and circled what I could control, I laughed. Most of the things I personally worry about can all be controlled my mindset and actions. The things that were on my list that I couldn’t control were worst case scenarios with not much evidence to support them. Some things out of my control are every environment I’m in, how my body reacts to things, or other people’s emotions. But, I can control my attitude, my positivity, and the words I tell myself. If my foundation is strong it doesn’t matter what adversities come my way.
I’ll never forget the moment when I was telling my therapist about how worried I was about feeling less than and how people make me feel “less than” in certain environments that I’m in. When I was done talking, she asked me what evidence I had to support these claims and I didn’t have any hard evidence. I had convinced myself that it was real because it was how I felt. I told myself “people are fake, you can’t trust them, people won’t value me because I’m a black woman.” This may be true in some instances but in this situation I had no evidence to support these claims. Although it was truly how I felt, I was putting limits on myself. My therapist made me realize I was being triggered from past traumas that were making me feel not enough.
I encourage you to identify the items on your worry list that may be a result of the negative stories you’re telling yourself without any evidence to support them.
If you’re worried about going broke. Start a side hustle, reach out for help from financial experts, start budgeting etc. You’re not a victim. Many of the worries you have can be solved. Feel like you have so much time but you’re not spending it the way you want? Set up time to chat with me, I can help you master your time management. Worried about losing touch with your friends or family, reach out to them. Interested in starting a blog or becoming an influencer, start making content that’s authentic to you and post it. Worried about not progressing in your career, find ways to provide more value. Write some possible solutions to your top 5 worries and start acting. I believe in you!
Worrying will always be a part of your life but with hacks like writing them down and working through them instead of avoiding them, you can reduce the stress they cause you.