The end of summer is approaching. During this time, we all tend to spend a lot more time with friends and family. After recently watching a video on Youtube, I was inspired to do an evaluation of the people I keep around me. Some people are in our lives for a season and for a specific reason only. When I was eleven, I came up with the concept that some people are friends and others are associates. I was a 6th grade girl tired of letting my so called “friends” disappoint me. So, I put certain people into friend category “levels”.
Now that I’m an adult, I’ve broken down these categories further. These categories have helped me identify my level of friendships with others and enhance my network, so I can achieve MORE out of life. We all serve as resources, made and created to benefit each other and bless the world with our talents. “The richest people in the world look for and build networks, everyone else looks for work.” (Robert Kiyosaki)
Everyone in your life has a place and are meant to have a certain level of impact. A friendship inventory check will aid you in navigating your relationships and spending your time with others more wisely.
Now let’s get into the category breakdown:
1. Old friends
Usually these are friends you’ve known for a very long time. These are the friends who you grew up in the same neighborhood as, or went to school with when you were young. These are your mom’s friends kids, your “play cousins” etc. Most of your friends in this category had their time and place in your life. Now you’ve grown up and probably don’t have as much in common anymore. These friends are low maintenance. You show up to special events when they invite you. You occasionally send them a “How you been?” text but besides that they don’t provide extravagant value to your life. You no longer need to feel guilty about not hanging out with these people because the deep connection you once had has dwindled. And that is okay.
2. Maintenance Friends
These are the people you reach out to a few times a year, you rehash on old times or catch up on life. These friends or family members don’t know what your day-to-day life entails, and don’t really care too. They provide value in a certain aspect of your life and have a fantastic network that you want to stay connected too. Make reminders on your calendar for these people but don’t feel inclined to connect with them regularly.
3. Associates
These are people you have fun with and you enjoy hanging out with. You met these people through mutual friends, work, or a similar hobby or interest. You know their drink of choice, but have no idea what their mother’s name is. The conversations had with these friends are light hearted and engaging but usually not too deep. Plan outings with these people every couple of months to keep the relationship relevant but don’t feel to bad if you have to cancel at the last minute.
4. Growth Friends
This is your squad. These are friends you connect to deeply. They are loyal, compassionate, honest friends. They remember details about your life, challenge you, and call you out on your B.S. These friends will pick up the phone at 2am. They will know exactly what article of clothing you are referring to when you give vague descriptions like “remember that white top I wore to that event last year.” These friends know what your day-to-day life is like, they know your co-workers names, they know your flaws and love you anyway. These friends are incredible and they are involved in your life on a regular basis. They teach you things, value your opinion, and you have a mutual respect for each other.
When you have great friendships, you tend to be a better human. You won’t question whether or not you’re a good friend after you’ve identified the purpose and value the people in your network bring to your life. You’ll know how to take control of your environment and the energy you allow around you. This will be an eye opening challenge that I promise will be worth it.
Brendon Burchard explains this friendship inventory concept brilliantly. I encourage you to watch his YouTube video. If you accept this challenge and complete this exercise, let me know how it turns out for you.
Can’t wait to hear from you all!
-Sade